Day Eleven - "Tales of Happiness and 'Whoa!'"

Hard to believe it was eleven days ago that we found out. That's nearly two weeks. In that time, there have been exciting times, scary times, teary times (never by me), and frankly some kinda gross times (mainly caused by my making a big deal out of normal pregnancy things).


My wife and I had decided at the beginning of April that we were going to start trying to have a baby. Embroiled in visions and fears of lengthy processes, fertility clinics, and (literally) swimming in circles, we were never prepared for how easy it would be. Or how fast. Apparently, as my father-in-law puts it, Beth and I have "fruitful loins".


Anyway, all that I have witnessed of pregnancy thus far is:


1. It makes women really tired.


   I mean truly exhausted. Beth has never been much of one to take naps (though she is in constant need and want of one). But recently, she has been exhibiting an amazing ability to sneak in any number of naps in her day. Thus far her record is three naps in one day, which occurred on Saturday. And I don't mean any namby-pamby catnaps. I mean each nap is at least an hour long. It's amazing, and I find myself sometimes being jealous.


2. It makes women very nauseous.


   We all know the phrase. "Morning sickness". First of all, it isn't relegated to just the early hours of the day, so I haven't the foggiest on where that came from. Second, calling it a "sickness" is far too kind, and I feel sugarcoats the true nature of the malady. I don't believe I've ever watched Beth NOT eat this much. Which is saying something, considering her typically dainty appetite since I've known her. I literally have to force breakfast down her throat, an activity that she often finds annoying and I find empowering in an odd, possibly sadistic way. Perhaps it's because I feel forcing her to eat checks off several items on my "caring husband to-do list" (didn't know there's a checklist? there is. it's rather demanding.) I suppose it can be categorized somewhere under my "Take Good Care of My Wife" section.


3. It breeds questions.


   "When are you due?" "How far along are you?" "What gender are you hoping for?" "Have you picked out any names yet?" Blah blah blah. (apparently, it also inspires a veritable cornucopia of "congratulations" or, my personal favorite, the "congrats". i would much rather prefer if people would say "good job" or be genuinely excited.) These are all questions that everybody asks just to seem interested. I should know; they're my standard questions to ask an expecting couple. They're "cotton candy" questions; they're sweet, but without substance. Still, cotton candy questions are preferable to the alternative: the questions I ask myself. "What kind of father will I be?" "Can I teach my child to be righteous and amazing in a world full of vices I fall prey to on a daily basis?" "How can I set an example for my child?" and, the most meaningful question of all: "Will he/she love the important things in life, like Star Wars?"


These thoughts keep me up some nights. Like tonight. And this is only day eleven.


I can do this... I can do this...